11 May 2007 - i love..

I love this pain and this feeling...i need nothing...just a pack of cigarettes...i can go on like this forever...self-destroying...that's better, better to destroy yourself than let others do it...

i am the owner of my life and i chose death..i refuse to live,giving no explanations.

There is nothing i need from my existance,i don't enjoy it...it's all so funny...all of you trying to survive:)))

so stupid...

11 May 2007 - nothing

7 May 2007 - 07.05.07

this life is too cruel...too dirty and too material...it's true, i can't explain whatever i want but still the way things are now are unacceptable for me...

How can people live without knowing what's beyond all this...why do they live at all? to study? to get married? to have children? to get old and die? so what's the purpose? what's the GREAT IDEA of being alive? why is this happening? what will happen after?

yea...sometines i kill all these questions in myself and live my life like everyone else...I eat, drink. smoke, work, make love, go places...but then over and over again these questions don't let me go...they occur to me all the time....

I HAVE TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER, I JUST HAVE TO!!!!

18 April 2007 - life sux

...if this is  life as it is, I choose death!

this is what i said yesterday....I can't go on...can't get used to this...i don't want this,this is not what i dream of...it's just NOT MY life...